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Dear Stress,

How’s it going? Stressful? I’d assume so. But I guess you would never know the difference, because you’re always you.

Yeah. Just writing to say hi. I wonder how you decide when to pay me a visit, Stress, because let me tell you, you have impeccable timing. By impeccable I mean horrible. Oh, I’m sorry. I promised that I wouldn’t be sarcastic.

So…what are you allergic to? Tea? Rain? Because I have both of those in great quantity as I write and I want to know if a reaction as occurred yet. I guess I’ll gauge that by how soon you come back again.

How about those squishy foam “Stress” balls? I think you grew out of that allergy, as they never seem to work. For that I’m proud of you, Stress. It is quite a feat to conquer something like that. I’ve had an allergy amoxcycillin for forever and every time I take that pink icky medicine I turn into a polka-dotted mess. Do you ever get polka dots? I think that would be a good look for you…

Well, I believe you’ve done your job, Stress. Because of you I still haven’t finished my English essay. Sigh. Well, expect another letter soon.